Redemption

Redemption....

Lost, drowning, failing, dying
Longing, reaching, trying, crying

For so long I've tried to do it on my own
I've felt so lost, so afraid, so alone.

I've felt like a failure so many days
I've spent so much time trying to change my ways

Broken, hurting, longing to be free
Wanting to be all that I can be

Stuck in the here and now
Wishing things could be different somehow

Wanting to be real
Letting others see how I really feel

If I believe like I say I do
Then all can change Lord when I trust in You

Lord, You redeem all that is lost
You lived, You died, You paid the cost

So that my mistakes, my brokenness could be made new
Yet I've tried to do it all without You

I've tried to make things new, to fix the lost
I've tried to do it all and pay the cost

I've wondered away thinking I needed to be perfect before I came to You
But that isn't something that I can possibly do

God, only You can redeem and make new
Only You can show me what to do

You take the broken pieces of my life
You see me in the midst of my pain and strife

You hold me when all seems lost
You loved me enough to pay the cost

You change my heart, You love me more
You make me sing, make my heart soar

I can only be free when I listen to You
Free to make mistakes and learn from what I do

Thank You Father for a love so real
That lets me see, and really feel

What it means to love and be loved by You
Show me Lord how to do what You want me to

Help me serve and live for you passionately everyday
For only through You can I really ever be saved

Thank you for all You have done and continue to do
To change my life, to make me new

Help me Lord to do all I can to live for You
And show the world that you can make them new too.

Kendra Bermosk
Sunday Feb. 21, 2010

So, I was sitting in church today thinking about life and singing along to the worship music. I realized something. Even though I know the truth I sometimes live with this mistaken idea that I need to be perfect and get my stuff in order before I go to God. Funny right becuase God is the one that knows me and He's the one that's allowed me to live forgiven to begin with. He already knows my stuff. He knows my struggles and the pain I go through. He sees each time I feel discouraged or like a failure. I live with so much stuff that gets bottled up within and think I have to have it all figured out but guess what....I don't. The other day I was reading a passage in scripture that talks about how we have confidence becuase we are God's children to boldy go before the thrown. I started thinking about how interesting it is that I converse and talk to the most high God and have a relationship with Him, but I am not confident in my every day life. Crazy. and if I am God's child, which I believe I am....than I do have the ability to go to him....even in my brokenness or in the midst of my frustrated, discouraged, angry, lost moments and talk to Him. God makes things new. He has always made things new. He takes the broken pieces and He puts them together or weaves them into beauty if we allow Him too. I have been waiting to feel passion again, waiting for the excitement to come back of serving Him, waiting to have it all together....but the truth is....I've been thinking I could do that stuff on my own...and really I can't. I can't do it without God because He is the only one that can redeem those things in my life that are broken, or stuck or messed up or whatever. He transforms....He loves....He holds my hand. I don't do it alone and I can't do it alone. Even in the midst of all the craziness of life and all the other things happening in the world God cares enough about me to love me enough to wantme to love Him with all I am. I'm grateful I have a God that comes after me and doesn't make me do all the work. That loves me that much. And in the end....deep down with all I am and all I have....my prayer is to Love Him with all I am and to serve Him passionately with a life that is built from broken pieces covered by grace and made into a thing of beauty. Who knows if anyone else will understand....but it's okay....God does and He knows this is me realizing I need Him more then I've ever needed Him and love Him becuase He first loved me and showed me what real love was. What a journey...and one day...what an amazing story.