It's a Long Way Home....

Don't know but this got stuck in my head tonight. It's not my usual writing style. It was more like a song stuck there instead of a poem but I thought I'd write it down anyway.

It's a long way home...


It's a long way home, this journey I'm taking
It's a long way home, this journey I'm on

When I'll get there I don't know, but I'm gonna make it
It's a long way home this journey I'm on

Sometimes the road I follow is dark and lonely
Sometimes it's full of travelers pressing on

It's a long way home, this journey I'm taking
It's a long way home, this journey I'm on

Sometimes I stumble and sometimes I grow weary
But I just stand up and keep moving on

It's a long way home, this journey I'm taking
It's a long way home, this journey I'm on

Rest for the weary and peace for the hurting
walking or running or just strolling along

It's a long way home, this journey I'm taking
It's a long way home, this journey I'm on

I don't know when I'll get there, but I know I'm gonna make it
Cause this journey is something and I'll finish strong.

Words Spill Forth...

Words spill forth on the page
Allowing me to say what I really want to say

The world sees someone I’m really not
Courageous, secure, and strong a lot

I’ve fooled them and maybe myself by wearing this façade
Deep down I’m scared, and afraid, and sometimes I can’t hear God

Put on a smile and make them think I’m fine
While really I’m crying tears of hurt inside

Why do we do this? All wear masks and different faces
Why can’t we be real and look deep inside at real places?

Why do we hide our hurt away
Thinking if we do it will go away someday

Where does the idea come from we always have to be strong
Why can’t we have days were we simply exist and really long

To rest in the arms of our Father’s love and grace
To be cradled close in His warm embrace

It’s okay to need Him and okay to cry
He understands, He had a son that died

God gives us the courage to be real
To show each other how we truly feel

To stop living as if we are someone we’re not
To see the good and bad in the lives we’ve got

To reach out and take His hand
To find the courage to finally stand

To live life real today
Regardless of what the world around us has to say

Grace for the moment that’s all we ask
The ability to complete the task

Authenticity in all of its beauty for your glory
As we each live out our lives and share our own story

Thank you Father and help us to see
That in you we have the ability to simply be

In you we live and move and have our being
Never without hope and always seeing

That while it might not make sense today
You provide for us a perfect way

Your love that guides us in all we do
For in this all glory and honor we give to You

To Be Free...

To be free, truly free
We must be willing to simply be

To look beyond the past and the lies
To open up and let the Lord inside

Longing, dying, crying to be
More then anyone in this world ever sees

Everything pulling me a hundred different ways
So much craziness filling up my days

Dreaming of the way it could be
If I’m willing to look beyond myself and see

All I am, all I could be
Make me free Lord, free to sing

Take my brokenness, my failure and shame
Cover them and make me new by the power of your name

I am more then the world sees
I am more then they want me to be

Flowing grace like water runs down
Washes over me and suddenly I am found

All that was lost isn’t any more
I’ve closed the old and walked through a new door

I chose to be more
No longer for me, but for you Lord

Take me, make me something new
I am different Lord because of You

You are, so I can be
I’ve finally found you and I am free

I am not my own, I belong to You
Make me into who you want to

I will speak with boldness and love
You died for me, gave up your own Son

So I will sing because I am free
I will be who you want me to be

Written April 2007
Kendra Bermosk

Praise

There is praise in the silence, and in the noise
Praise from men and women, girls and boys
There is praise in the laughter and in the tears
There is praise now, and there will be praise for years
There is praise in the beauty all around
Even when there is not even a sound

There is praise in a group
There is praise all alone
There is praise in a church
There is praise in our homes

There is praise with voices lifted high
There is praise with hands raised to the sky
There is praise in tears rolling down
There is praise in knees kneeling on the ground

What is praise, what does that mean
Perhaps more then we ever dreamed
We have put the definition in a box
And in doing so, so much has been lost

We’ve lost the beauty of what it is and made it less
You have to look a specific way, as if praise is in how you dress
You have to do it a certain way, sing a certain song
If you don’t, we’ll tell you you are wrong

Funny really, it’s not even about us
Yet we make such noise and put up such a fuss
Praise is meant to bring God glory
There is so much more to the story

We praise God because He is worthy and deserves our praise
We praise Him because He is the author of all our days
We praise Him because of His amazing love and grace
The praise of the Lord shines on our face

We praise God for His amazing beauty that abounds
When we take a minute to look around
We praise Him for He is greater then all our fears
We praise Him because He truly cares

We praise Him every one of our days
Because He is familiar with all our ways
We praise Him when we love each other
When we care about our sisters and brothers

We praise Him in the helping of another in need
We praise Him when we follow His lead
We praise Him when we are who He created us to be
We praise Him when we give Him all the glory

We praise Him when we take time to pray
When we forget the big words and simply say
What love we feel for our Savior and friend
We praise Him because He’s with us till the very end
And in everything we give thanks and praise
Because when it’s all said and done and we’ve lived our last days
We will spend eternity praising Him with all we are and ever could be
And that my friends will be the most amazing praise we will ever see


Written by: Kendra Bermosk
2007

Life and Beauty

Life and Beauty

What is and what will be
Is never as it seems

Running, spinning, crying, laughing
Turning, being, sighing, gasping

Where to, where from , what for
In one way then out the other door

Crazy chaotic beautiful life
Beauty in the midst of strife

Love and grace flowing down
What is good and great all around

Color flowing crashing
Dipping, turning, slowly passing

Green, red, blue, yellow, white
Merging into one magnificent sight

Life is and that is the beauty to me
Being what you are for the world to see

Breaking free from the mold
Refusing to be bought, bartered or sold

Standing firm convictions strong
Knowing the difference, choosing right over wrong

Skipping, jumping, running, soaring
Life is never still or boring

All that is good and all that is right
Keeping these things within my sight

Always believing and having faith
God’s got it all under control and is holding me safe

I was born for this moment, alive for such a time as this
Not a single moment of life to waste or miss

Live, really live today
Regardless of what others around you have to say


Rest in the simplicity of simply being
Looking around and always seeing

Life is more then what we know and see
We live with eyes on God and the promise of eternity

So create, smile, be free
Dance, love, laugh with glee

Life is good, it’s right
The future is looking alive and bright

Thank you God for a glimpse of your glory
May my life tell your story

May I create as you’ve created me
So the world will know and always see

You are the one I do it all for
Nothing less and nothing more

I love you, I commit my life to living for you today
Praise be to God, and all the people say

Amen

Written by: Kendra Bermosk
July 16, 2008

Speed of Life

The Speed of Life

What is the speed of life, how fast does it go
To one it flashes by, to one it seems so slow

To the one fighting simply to survive and live another day
Do they measure the speed of life in the exact same way

As the one living on borrowed time waiting to die
Living life to the fullest, wishing time didn't fly by

What about the one so busy they barley have time to think
Everyday feeling like they are drowning as they slowly sink

Farther and farther into despair
Just to climb the ladder of success and get their fair share

How do you measure the speed of life and what it's worth
By it's moments of joy, happiness, and mirth

Babies born, kids growing up, discoveries being made helping others to see
What they are and all that they can be

Or do you measure the speed of life by those who are wishing they were somewhere else, living in dispear
Hoping one more day will bring about change, lead past the bitterness and they will end up somewhere other than here

Or is the speed of life measured in ordinary every day moments being lived each day
In the big and small acts of kindness, in the words people say

To each other, to a stranger passing by needing help in some way
Doing something out of the ordinary to brighten someones day

So how do you measure the speed of life, by how fast or how slow
Maybe it changes as we live and as we grow

As we go through different stages and different things
Maybe it looks different, maybe that changes what it means

I pray whatever it is I never forget to see
How special each moment is and what it can be

Let us live not taking anything for granted, not wasting any day
That is my hope for each of us, that is what I pray

May we make each moment count, take time to see the beauty, speak a word of hope into someones life and pray
Then the speed of life won't be determined by how fast or slow it goes by each day

The speed of Life will be meaured by moments that count, moments of love, laughter, tears, and pain
Wonderful special moments repeated again and again and again.

Mirror, Mirror are you broken?

Often I write my poetry out of a place I have been or am at, but sometimes I write out of a place I have seen others or imagine they must feel. Sometimes it's a combination of both. In my life I seen so many women (actually I know very few if any that don't) struggle with feeling beautiful and worthy of being loved all the time. There are moments they feel beautiful and moments you understand you are worthy, but unfortunatley I have seen to many times when women go searching for beauty and worth in something else, be it a guy and relationship....or material things. It breaks my heart that they don't see how beautiful they are because they were created by a Master Creator. Sadly....I understand these feelings because I deal with them to.....so this poem is for every woman that feels unpretty and unworthy and not enough....I'd like you to know you are beautiful and worthy and enough.....and amazingly loved. God wants you to know that....and I do too!

Mirror, Mirror …are you broken?

One more day, wake up and look in the mirror
Hoping that somehow all your scars and flaws will have disappeared

Longing to look different then what you do
That somehow over night you became a new you

Each face is different staring back through the reflection of the mirror
But each one is waiting for that “something” to appear

The thing that will make them feel enough
But it’s not more money or even more stuff

She hears a voice within her say: If beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that’s true
How could anyone ever truly see beauty in someone like you

Everyday you look is one more reminder of what you lack
Days of innocence… how you’d like them back

When you were a kid and all you saw was beauty and good
Back then was the time when you truly understood

Beauty isn’t in what you wear
Or how you choose to style your hair

Beauty isn’t in the color you paint your face
Or the mistakes you’ve made that you try to erase

Beauty isn’t in being strong and needing no one else
And it’s not in driving the right car or owning the perfect house

Beauty isn’t found in what you do
It’s not found in purses, or jewelry or even your shoes

Beauty isn’t killing yourself to look a certain size
Beauty isn’t something you can put on or buy

But each one of us lives with this crazy expectation that we need to be a certain way
In order for each of us to really be okay

We look in the mirror and see what we’re lacking
And we go back to tracking our food or constant snacking

We buy the self help books and watch on t.v.
To see what that one “thing” is that will help us to be

Someone worth loving, someone worth keeping
But deep inside we are all just silently weeping

We can’t play the game every day
We can’t always act like it’s all okay

So we go home and close the door and look in the mirror
And as we do so you can see each one of the sorrowful tears

When did we lose the idea of what beauty truly is
It comes in the knowledge that we are His

God looks at us and sees our beauty within and without
He tells us what true beauty is all about

Our worth isn’t based on who we are or who we are not
How would are lives be different if that’s something we truly got

Our beauty runs deeper than what you can see
It’s starts on the inside of you and me

Our beauty stems from a place deep within
A place some of us should look at and have never been

Beauty is in loving one another
Helping our sisters and our brothers

Beauty is in listening to what others have to say
And doing something special to make their day

Beauty is in a word of encouragement, a loving smile
Spending time with each other, loving well

Beauty is in showing love and grace
To one that is walking in a really rough place

Beauty is realizing we are children of the King
And what that realization really does mean

We don’t have to try so hard to look a certain way
The price of our salvation has already been paid

Because of God’s sacrifice and unconditional love
Because He gave it all, didn’t even spare the life of His son

Our worth comes because we are His own creation, formed by His own hand
Because of that we are worth more then we can ever understand

Our worth is immeasurable
we are each unique and irreplaceable

So stop trying so hard beautiful one
Your beauty is something that doesn’t have to be won

Rest in the knowledge God’s grace makes you shine
You are amazing and one of a kind

Stand tall and proud when you look in the mirror
Hold you head high, no reason to despair

The mirror is a reflection of Your Fathers face
It’s a reflection of His love and grace

You are beautiful on the inside and out
That’s what beauty is all about

Don’t hide your beauty behind superficial things
Hold your head high, know what it means

Spread beauty around as you go
Then everyone will finally be able to know

And maybe we each won’t have to try so hard when we look in the mirror
We’ll see a reflection of the beauty that is already there.

By: Kendra Bermosk
January 2009

Brokenness and Grace

Finding ourselves on a road we don’t want to be on
Wondering again where it all went wrong

This isn’t the way we planned it to be
Why couldn’t we look forward and ultimately see

The choices we made, the life that we lived
Would lead to heartache and the need to forgive

They say hind sight is twenty twenty
Well, I know it must be because I can see I’ve messed up plenty

But somehow in the midst of it all
God looked at me and must have saw

Someone worth loving anyway
Because He reached down and held me in the midst of the pain

He gave me the strength to move forward again
He sent His son who died for my sin

Somehow I realize I am who I am today
Not because my life is perfect in anyway

But because God’s grace reached out to me when I was still lost
He paid the price for me, which came with a cost

Because of His love and mercy and grace
One day I will meet Him and stand face to face

But until that day I’ll look forward, always marching on
Realizing because of Him I can sing a new song

He took it all upon the cross
My sorrow, my pain, all I’ve lost

The road isn’t perfect and never will be
But God blessed the broken pieces and promises to walk next to me

Holding my hand along the way
So I’ll live to bring Him glory every day

And when this life is done I’ll look back and see
All of the pieces of my life fit together perfectly.

Written by: Kendra Bermosk

Crying Out

Crying Out

God I'm breaking
Spinning, crashing, losing control, aching

Longing, crying, reaching out
Hurting, dying, I want to shout

Why, when, how long must I be in this place?
Whatever happened to your love and grace?

You promised not more than I could bear
Where are you now? Are you even still here?

Do you care that I can't see you or feel you in the midst of this pain?
I'm hungry, I'm longing, please send some rain

This drought has lasted for so long
I've got nothing to give, not even a song

Why must we suffer, where is your grace?
I've got nothing left; I can't see your face

I struggle, I grasp, I cry out to You
Is there anyway out, anything I can do?

Do I even know what it means to know you anymore?
It's like you've walked away and closed the door?

But wait-maybe there's still a glimpse of your light
Maybe you’re not completely out of sight

Maybe your still there somewhere
And maybe you still love me and maybe you still care

Maybe I don't have to walk this path alone
Maybe in all of this heartache and struggle real grace is known

Maybe your right here and never left my side
Maybe you understand because you had a Son that died

Maybe you know a bit of heartache and pain too
Because you didn't spare even your own Son from what He had to do

Maybe in the midst of all of the struggle and pain
You give relief, you send healing rain

Maybe it's not about taking everything that hurts away
Maybe it's about finding the courage to say

That no matter what I'll still praise you in what I do
Because no matter what your still you

You’re still holy and sovereign and loving and kind
Grace in the midst of every moment we can find

Your still in control, you still are on your throne
Even in those moments I think I'm alone

You’re still faithful and full of grace
Even when I feel like I can't feel your embrace

You still take the broken pieces and make them whole
You still whisper your gentle words and touch my soul

You still are God and I am not
You still provide the comfort and love I've always sought

You pick up the broken pieces that feel like they will never be right again
You forgive all the times I've failed and I've sinned

You welcome me back with arms open wide
You see all the things I've hidden inside

You set my feet on solid ground when I'm breaking
You give me courage when my heart is aching

You love me when I can't love myself or others around me
You open my eyes to see all of your beauty

You teach me to sing a new song
One that you created within me and knew all along

Thank you for lifting me out of the ashes and allowing me to dance
Thank you for giving me a second chance

Thank you for making me whole again
Thank you for forgiving me all of my sins

Thank you for all that you are and you do
I am who I am because of you

Thank you for blessing me in the midst of it all
Thank you for saving me from my fall

Thank you seems so inadequate to say
Because of you I can live a new way (another day)

Grace for the moment is all I ask
The ability to complete this task

Faith when I can't see where I'm going or what to do
Hope that You love me and will see me through

God you are good and always will be
Give me the ability to remember that and see

You are and so I can be
God, You really have blessed this broken road that's been part of my journey.

Written by:
Kendra Bermosk

Torn

Torn

I am torn between what is and what could be
What I hope for and what I can see

I am torn between caring and letting go
Between what I feel and what I know

I am torn between believing and not wanting to dream
Between what the possibilities are and all that’s in between

I am torn between what I want and what I can’t have
Between things that will make me happy and things that will make me sad

I am forever longing for what I know could be
But realizing no one else can make the choices for me

I am torn between believing everyone deserves someone to understand
And thinking some people just want to be angry and hurt everyone they can

I am torn between being optimistic and being real
Between what is logical and how I feel

I am torn in my thinking that sometimes people’s lives dictate who they become
And believing with God any battle can be beaten and victory can be won

I am torn between my idealistic view of the world and the reality of what I can see
Between what is now and what with different choices could one day be

I am torn between believing I know anything for sure anymore
Between understanding whose happier, the rich or the poor

The only think I can say for certain in this world is that God is real
He goes beyond what I think or how I feel

He is who He says He is and will always be
And that is the one thing that allows me to keep going and see

That though there isn’t much in this world I understand
God is with me, He holds my hand

And while I might not understand all that is
I know for certain that I am His

So, I will continue to walk this struggle between what is and what could be
Because I know my Savior walks this road with me.

Love Is...

Love Is….

I see love in little moments in life, moments I’m lucky enough to grab hold of and recognize as the true beauty they are
Doesn’t matter if I’m right here or somewhere far

If love is patent, then I see love in the gentle care of a child
Not always in huge gestures or words spoken out loud

And if love is kind I see love in the kindness shown to a stranger
When you love others enough to put your own self in danger

If love doesn’t boast and it keeps no records of wrongs
Then love is more than a feeling or words sung in a song

Love is lived out, words in action in every day life
Moments of hope in the midst of the strife

Love is selfless and cares more for the other
Love is a hand reaching out to grasp the hand of a sister or brother

Love doesn’t seek to hurt or even the score
Love helps those in need, cares for the poor

Love reaches past where we are from
Which is hard to do for some

Love reaches past the color of our skin, or how we dress
It seeks to be fair, to treat others our best

Love doesn’t ask us to be someone we’re not
Love isn’t something that can be bartered or bought

Love can be seen in the eyes of a child
As they are comforted and gently held

And love can be seen in a moment of people reaching out
Caring more for the other than they do for themselves

Love is coming together for a common goal
It’s more precious than even the rarest of jewels

Love is beautiful and it asks us to risk everything
But in it’s purest it’s the greatest gift we’ve ever seen.

We love because God first loved us and showed us how it’s done
He loved so much He gave His one and only Son

To give His life so we might live
To offer us love, and to forgive

All our sins, all our pain
Love is real, it has a name


Jesus loves us this we know
Now we must take this love and go

Take it share it with the world around us everywhere
Let them know that God still loves them, that He still cares

And as we love as He has loved us we will see
That love is more beautiful than we could ever dream.

True love gives more than it takes
And we are blessed because God has given everything for each of our sakes

So may we step out in faith and walk what we believe
And not only will we give love, but we will also receive

More love than we will ever be able to know
More love than we will ever be able to show

So may each of us learn to live our love out loud every day
Because love is on the move, and it’s the only true way

To show a broken and hurting world that God is still alive and still cares
And that He wants to bring healing to our hurts and fears

Thank you Father for loving us first and showing the way
May we love you and mean it every day

And one day when we stand before you in glory
May love be the biggest and best part of our story.

Kendra Bermosk
February 13, 2010

Redemption

Redemption....

Lost, drowning, failing, dying
Longing, reaching, trying, crying

For so long I've tried to do it on my own
I've felt so lost, so afraid, so alone.

I've felt like a failure so many days
I've spent so much time trying to change my ways

Broken, hurting, longing to be free
Wanting to be all that I can be

Stuck in the here and now
Wishing things could be different somehow

Wanting to be real
Letting others see how I really feel

If I believe like I say I do
Then all can change Lord when I trust in You

Lord, You redeem all that is lost
You lived, You died, You paid the cost

So that my mistakes, my brokenness could be made new
Yet I've tried to do it all without You

I've tried to make things new, to fix the lost
I've tried to do it all and pay the cost

I've wondered away thinking I needed to be perfect before I came to You
But that isn't something that I can possibly do

God, only You can redeem and make new
Only You can show me what to do

You take the broken pieces of my life
You see me in the midst of my pain and strife

You hold me when all seems lost
You loved me enough to pay the cost

You change my heart, You love me more
You make me sing, make my heart soar

I can only be free when I listen to You
Free to make mistakes and learn from what I do

Thank You Father for a love so real
That lets me see, and really feel

What it means to love and be loved by You
Show me Lord how to do what You want me to

Help me serve and live for you passionately everyday
For only through You can I really ever be saved

Thank you for all You have done and continue to do
To change my life, to make me new

Help me Lord to do all I can to live for You
And show the world that you can make them new too.

Kendra Bermosk
Sunday Feb. 21, 2010

So, I was sitting in church today thinking about life and singing along to the worship music. I realized something. Even though I know the truth I sometimes live with this mistaken idea that I need to be perfect and get my stuff in order before I go to God. Funny right becuase God is the one that knows me and He's the one that's allowed me to live forgiven to begin with. He already knows my stuff. He knows my struggles and the pain I go through. He sees each time I feel discouraged or like a failure. I live with so much stuff that gets bottled up within and think I have to have it all figured out but guess what....I don't. The other day I was reading a passage in scripture that talks about how we have confidence becuase we are God's children to boldy go before the thrown. I started thinking about how interesting it is that I converse and talk to the most high God and have a relationship with Him, but I am not confident in my every day life. Crazy. and if I am God's child, which I believe I am....than I do have the ability to go to him....even in my brokenness or in the midst of my frustrated, discouraged, angry, lost moments and talk to Him. God makes things new. He has always made things new. He takes the broken pieces and He puts them together or weaves them into beauty if we allow Him too. I have been waiting to feel passion again, waiting for the excitement to come back of serving Him, waiting to have it all together....but the truth is....I've been thinking I could do that stuff on my own...and really I can't. I can't do it without God because He is the only one that can redeem those things in my life that are broken, or stuck or messed up or whatever. He transforms....He loves....He holds my hand. I don't do it alone and I can't do it alone. Even in the midst of all the craziness of life and all the other things happening in the world God cares enough about me to love me enough to wantme to love Him with all I am. I'm grateful I have a God that comes after me and doesn't make me do all the work. That loves me that much. And in the end....deep down with all I am and all I have....my prayer is to Love Him with all I am and to serve Him passionately with a life that is built from broken pieces covered by grace and made into a thing of beauty. Who knows if anyone else will understand....but it's okay....God does and He knows this is me realizing I need Him more then I've ever needed Him and love Him becuase He first loved me and showed me what real love was. What a journey...and one day...what an amazing story.

Prodigal Son/ Older Brother

Prodigal Son

Longing, daring to believe I could go home
That the Father would take me back and I wouldn’t have to feel so alone

Do I dare to believe He could forgive all I’ve done
Even if I am his own child, his own son?

Do I dare to hope he might take me in
Knowing I could cause him pain again?

All that I had I squandered away
All that I had I used for selfish gain

All that I thought I wanted he gave to me
All that I ever needed to break away, to be free

Yet all that I ever had wasn’t enough
It was empty things and worthless stuff

Running into my Fathers outstretched arms
Holding me close, sheltering me from harm

Taking me back, showering me with love and light
What an incredible, amazing sight

Love shines down, forgiveness complete
Showing me where real grace and love meet

This is all I longed for, all I ever wanted and more
This is what living is about, what it’s all for

Father thank you for that kind of love and grace
Father thank you for that warmth, your embrace

Father thank you for the light you give, you pour down from above
So we each can feel that same kind of all encompassing love.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Older Brother

Resentment you’ve got a hold on me
Making me to blind to be able to see

The view of the other
Instead I’m mad at my brother

I did everything right
But you took him back without even a fight

I have always been here
Even while he was away somewhere

I helped, I cried, I sweated, I tried
But yet, you always seem to take his side

I’m the one who has done it all
And felt like you never even saw

Now He’s back and like before
It’s him you love, him you adore

You throw a party in His honor for all to attend
His relationship with you, you’ve allowed to mend

What about me, where do I fit in
He’s the one who went away, he’s the one that sinned

Anger eating me up inside
Feeling like part of me has shriveled up and died

I don’t want to feel this way any more
Father your love is the only true cure

If you can love enough to forgive
Maybe I can love enough to live

Change this heart deep within
Forgive my wrongs, forgive my sins

Change me from the inside out
Show me what true love and grace is about.

I want to be able to celebrate too
I can only do that if I follow what I see in You

Help me love my younger brother
Help me show grace to another

Than I will finally be free to do
All the things you want me to

Grace that frees, love that saves
So I can praise You all of my days

Stepping back, letting go
Finally having the chance to know

The answers rest in my Fathers arms
Holding me close, keeping me from harm

Only then can I finally see
Home is exactly where I’m meant to be.

To Be

TO BE:



Moment by moment my life ticks by

Why does the time always seem to fly?



It’s like watching my life in fast forward

Quickly rushing through the pages of my life

Each day going by faster than the last

And I just want to yell stop

Stop the craziness

And the madness

And the extreme sadness of missing

Of missing out

Missing out on life because I don’t have time to live it

I want to live

I want to enjoy each moment

I don’t want to wake up one day 90 years old and realize I missed something

Something beautiful

And special

And amazing.



Where does it go?

How do we slow it down?

They say time waits for no man

And I suppose that means time waits for no woman too

And if that’s true

Which I know it’s true

Than what can we do?

How do we make each moment count?

And last?

And not fly by so fast?



I’m asking because I really want to know

It’s not a question just to ask and then let go



I want to live

I want to notice the blessings

I want to count them

I want to recognize God in this moment

In this day

In this place

I want to see what He is doing and be there

I want to be where He is at

And participate in what He is up to

Not just look back and realize what I missed



So…I ask you….how do we slow time down?

How do we live in the present?

How do we make this moment matter?

How do we not miss out on what is truly pure

Truly beautiful

Truly unique

And special, and one of a kind

How do we participate in our life?

How do we make space for another?

How do we reach out?

Step in?

Be part of something?

Something bigger, better than what we currently have?

What we currently see?



I want to be part of my life.

I want to be part of your life.

I want to be part of God’s design.

I want to be.



God give me the strength to be present in this moment

In this day

In this place.

God give me the grace to walk this journey day by day

Moment by moment.

God give me the wisdom

And the heart

And the courage

To live.

To be.

To believe.

To be free.

Free to sing,

Free to love,

Free to laugh,

To cry.



To enjoy and take pleasure in the things you’ve given

The blessings You have showered upon me

In each moment of my life.



Help me to recognize that your great love is all consuming

All encompassing

All embracing

Beautiful

And free.



Help me to understand and listen and be

Be who you created me to be.

To encourage others to be.

To be who you created them to be.



And help me to understand I can only do this when I’m in tune with you.

Like a well played melody.

In tune and played by a Master.

The Master.

The only Master of all.

May my life be lived one moment at a time and become a great symphony

A symphony of rhythms, and times, and places, and moments

Of grace, and space, and beauty.



May I be ever true to you, to myself, and to what You created me to be.

For to You be the glory. To You may my story

Be written, be sung, be painted, be played

On the stage of this great canvas of life.



To You be all glory. For You I live MY story.

Now and forever

Amen.

Home

Been reflecting on the idea of home lately and what it means. I think it's more then just a word....I think it's a feeling. Maybe it's the idealist in me, but I think home is where we long to be, in whatever sense of the word. Maybe not the physical place, but sometimes there as well. I think the idea of home is a place where we can go and be, where we know we are loved no matter what...faults and all. Where we are accepted and given the chance to grow and dream. Where we are free to fall down and given the support to get back up. It's where we know at the end of the day....we can lay our head down and rest because we don't have to pretend to be anything other than what we are. When I was thinking about it I realized that true home, in the most authentic sense of the word is God. He is unconditional love, security, grace. He placed within us dreams and purpose and I imagine He loves to dream with us.....the possibilities....if we would listen and follow Him. I can picture resting in His arms at the end of a long day while He holds us safe and secure. I don't know....I think that Home is Him and while we are here He is still with us showing a glimpse of what that means, what it looks like...but one day we will know true Home. Wouldn't that be awesome. My prayer is that I can be a place where people feel at home while they are waiting for their eternal Home.




Home is ...

Click my ruby red slippers together, I want to go home

Somewhere I know I am loved, where I don't have to feel so alone


Somewhere where I am accepted for who I am and want to be

where everyone knows me and dreams with me


Where there are possibilities and ideas waiting to be born

where I know I'm not the only crazy one, crazy is the norm


Somewhere where I can feel unconditional love

and warmth and grace from above


Somewhere where I can just be me

and all the different things that that means


somewhere where people know me and I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not

Where love isn't borrowed, or bargained, doesn't have to be bought


Tell me there's a place I can call home

a place where I can come back to no matter how far I roam


They say home is where the heart is and if that's true

I suppose God the only true home is when I'm with You


We all long for security, a place to just be

a place where we are enough and it's okay to be me


We all long for that place, that feeling that it's all going to be alright

that we can rest awhile, stop fighting the fight


We all long for that place where we are simply known

That place we can always rely on, believe, that place called home


Maybe home isn't so much of a place where we can lay our head

Maybe it can be found in the kind words of a friend


Or in the glimpse of an unselfish act

when others who have, give to those who lack


and maybe it's found when we look around and see

someone who cares about you and me


maybe it's found in the voice of a stranger walking by

that takes a moment to notice us, to say hi


and maybe it's found when we treat others with dignity

and look beyond what we can only see


and maybe it's found in tiny miracles every day

like a child getting well and being going home to stay


I don't know, I don't think that home is so much of a place

as it is a feeling we long to embrace


Home is where the heart is, it's true

Home is where we find You.


Home is where we rest in Your love

that you shower upon us from up above.


Home is safe in Your arms

No matter what comes are way, safety or harm


Home is knowing You

Trusting You will do what you say you will do


Home is peace and joy that can only come from You

Because You never change, You do what You say You will do.


May I be home to those around me

May I be somewhere where they can see


You, Your love and Your grace

May they see You when they see my face


May they know acceptance, security, and love as they see

That I can only show those things when You're in me


May I never be so far from Home myself that I miss a chance to be

Home for others around me


May I never take for granted my love from You

That I forget exactly what You've called me to


May I never be so focused on what I'm doing that I miss out on what You have for me

and may I be a place where every day You are seen


And one day when my time on earth is done

and I've run the good race and the victories won


May I finally know what glory really means

when I live with You in eternity


When I finally look upon Your face

and know the fullness of Your love and grace


That day I'll stand knowing I will never again be alone

Because I've finally found my one true home.


Written by Kendra Bermosk

November 25, 2010

Silence

Silence

Can there be silence in the midst of noise?
When we are reminded of life’s little joys

When simplicity calls to our soul
And the world around us no longer takes its toll

When we simply rest in God’s amazing grace
And feel cradled close in his warm embrace

When nothing and no one can touch us and make us feel
Less than who we are, less than ideal

When we tune out the world around us and simply rest quietly
Waiting for our hearts to soar and our eyes to see

Waiting for peace that passes understanding and reason
That doesn’t come and go like the different seasons

Or is silence found in the complete and utter darkness of night
When it brings with it a sense of foreboding and feelings of fright

What is silence like then?
Seems like anything but a close friend

Are we afraid because the utter silence makes us feel so alone and hopeless
Like we have nothing and no one and wouldn’t be missed?

Does that silence scare us more than the world’s noise?
Is that why we buy more things and clutter our lives with more toys?

Or is silence in the quiet of a summer’s day
When we sit with friends and know it will all be okay

When we go down deep within
And aren’t afraid of the questions or to face our sin

When we know that we must in order to move on
And we find the strength to do it, to be strong

Or maybe the silence is found when there isn’t a sound
We’ve stopped spinning and turning and looking around

We’ve taken a moment to breath in long and deep
We close our eyes and gently fall asleep

And in that silence we dream good dreams
And the world isn’t as scary as it sometimes seems

And we rest in the knowledge that God is in control
And it touches us down deep and reaches our soul

Maybe the silence can teach us to understand
That all of its differences are part of God’s plan

We need each of the different silences our journey brings
To make us appreciate and understand different life lessons and things

Only in embracing the silence without and within
Do we truly understand it can all lead to Him?

God’s in the midst of all of the noise
But in the silence we can hear His voice

It’s in the silence we are desperate and dare
And listen to the words God speaks for us to hear

And it’s in the silence we are drawn to Him
We recognize His greatness and are humbled by our sin

It’s in the silence we are desperate to let go and find His peace
To recognize His forgiveness and our release

From the darkness, from the pain,
From all of our hurt, all of our shame

And in that silence we finally see
The gift that silence really can be

The silence we are looking for is found within
When we seek after God and call Him friend

When we hear His voice call our name
And we answer Him we will never be the same

It’s then we see our hearts are changed and finally home
We are no longer frightened by the silence or being alone

It’s then that we can finally see
The true beauty that silence actually brings.

Written by: Kendra Bermosk
June 26, 2010

Lost my Voice for awhile...

Empty

I lost my voice for a little while today

I couldn’t think of any words to say


I wanted to say something amazing and profound

But the words just couldn’t seem to be found


I wanted to say something to let people know how I feel

But I couldn’t come up with anything that seemed to be real


All I could do was sit here and try

And all I wanted to do was sit here and cry


To have no one hear what you want them to

Leaves you feeling sad and powerless and not sure what to do


And then I realized that this happens every day

In a million places in a hundred different ways


People on the outskirts looking in

With no one to listen or let them in


People wounded by the pain of life and living in despair

That have no idea that anyone listens or even cares


I lost my voice for a moment but they lost theirs for good

They’ve been beaten and battered and misunderstood


They’ve been left on the outside looking in

And we’ve called them all kinds of things and looked down on them and their sin


And we’ve built buildings to keep them out

And we’ve yelled at them and we scream and we shout


And we tell them they won’t get very far

And we trample all over their wounds and their scars


And we walk away without asking their story

And we think we’ve done something for His glory


But we never saw and we never cared

And we walked away because we were scared


We never wanted to get close enough to see their pain

And be reminded of our own scars and secret shame


And we never wanted to dirty our hands or our lives with their pain

So we left them there, in the cold and in the rain


And we call ourselves followers of Christ

Yet we walk away from the tough things in life


Jesus faced heartache and pain

And He was a friend to sinners, the weak and the lame


He walked with them and shared their story and their pain

And He loved them and knew them and called them by name


He hear d them when no one else knew they were there

And He held them close and He told them He cared


And He walked the journey with them and listened to what they’d say

And even His very life wasn’t to great a price to pay


God help us see those around us, those on the outside

Those that the world has looked down on and denied


Those that have no voice to speak

Those who are the outcasts, the hated, the weak


Give us ears to hear and hearts to listen to what You ask us to do

Renew a right spirit within us and make us new


Help us to live by example and not just words

Because actions are often more able to be heard


Grant me the ability to love when I don’t’ want to or think I can

And the strength to take my brother or sisters hand


Grant me a heart to hear you call my name

And to walk with you, never be the same


Give me the courage to listen as You speak

A heart that wants to know and seeks


To be your hands and feet in a world in need

And allow others the gift to lead


Help me remember and see

What all of this truly means


I lost my voice today

But I found it along the way


I found it when I stopped to help my sister and brother

When I recognized myself in another


When I stopped walking on by

When I stopped running away and trying to hide


I found my voice when I allowed others to find their own

And that’s the greatest voice I’ve ever known.



9-4-10

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Beautiful Mess

So today this phrase kept running through my head all day....Beautiful Mess. It's kind of how I'd describe life and the journey we are all on. It's got moments of absolute beauty and moments that are such a mess you gotta wonder. But....wow. When you think about it and put it together....it's a Beautiful Mess we're in :)



Beautiful Mess


It's a beautiful mess, this journey I'm taking

Years of my life weaving together and making


Something different, something new

Help me God, to point others to You


I couldn't have planned it, and I can't imagine it

But somehow you formed me in my mothers womb and skillfully knit


My life together, piece by piece

and one day I turned it over to you, released


all I held so tightly to

Because I wanted my life to reflect You


Move me, mold me, shape me, make me

Open my eyes so others can see


The beauty You created wasn't formed without pain

My life will never again look the same


cause you took what was broken and gave it purpose, gave me life

and you walked with me through the pain and strife


and you saw me when I couldn't even see

and with grace You showed me how to be me


all You pictured, all You designed

all You wanted me to find


Spinning circles, arms flung wide

Nothing keeping others from seeing inside


To what I am, to who I am and want to be

Blinded eyes opened to see


Beauty and color and life and love

Grace and mercy from above


I am free

Free to be me


I am loved and held and sheltered and gripped by grace

and I am amazed and awed by Your loving face


I am because You are

and it doesn't matter if I travel near or far


It doesn't matter if I stumble

or this path gets all crazy and jumbled


It doesn't matter if I fail or make a mistake

Because I am held firmly and gripped by grace


so God walk with me on this crazy journey, where ever it's taking me

Because wherever You are is where I want to be


You are the beginning and end and all the inbetweens

And really, what I think that actually means


Is that I have the ability to live and love and create

and laugh and smile or quietly wait


For whatever You have in store

Because God I am forever and undeniably Yours.


12-1-10 Kendra Bermosk

Stillness

Stillness



In the stillness and silence I hear Your voice

Calling me out of the busyness and noise


Calling me to a time with You

Recognizing Your presence in all that I do


Calling me to know You deeper and more

Out of the craziness of this world, You're calling me forth


Breath in, Breath out

Sensing Your presence, there is no doubt


The noise of this world is all around

Til all I hear are all of the sounds


Come, go, do this, do that, go here and go there

Til I don't even listen to You and I can't even hear


God, You have so much more in store for my life and my heart

Teach me to listen and help me to start


Finding time for You in all of my days

Thanking You and giving You praise


Hearing You in the stillness that runs deep

Your presence in the promises You keep


Help me know You in the stillness of the day

and take You with me, now and always.



Kendra Bermosk 3/19/11

Amazed

A few months ago I was thinking of how awesome God is and just standing in awe of His goodness and grace. This was my attempt to put into words just how amazed I am when I think about all God is and all He has done for me.


Amazed

What do I have to offer but these words to You

Such a small offering in comparison to all that You do



What do I have to offer but a heart that’s been dented and scarred

By the ups and downs of a life that sometimes seems quite hard



What do I have to offer but a song sung way off key

But sung by a voice that wishes she had something more to offer her King



What do I have to offer but empty hands held high in praise

Seems like there should be something more to You I could raise



What do I have to offer but my gratitude and love

For the gift of your Salvation that was given through the death of Your Son



What do I have to offer but a prayer of desperation and a cry torn from my heart

But maybe a willing heart and desperate prayer is exactly the place to start



What do I have to give that would ever be enough

All I have is empty hands and worthless stuff



I have nothing to give You that could ever compare to what You’ve given me

But I can offer my time, my voice, my willingness to be




What You created me to be

When you set my heart into motion and breathed life into me



I can’t give you money, or riches, or fame

But I can give You praise and bless Your amazing name



Standing before You I realize how big You are and how small I am

And to think You love me anyway and hold me in Your hand



I’ve got nothing to give that would ever even come close to what you deserve

But I can give you my hands and my feet and my willingness to serve



To know that the God of the universe cares about me and knows my name

Is incomprehensible and to some it might seem insane



But I know You and it’s true

I’ve stood in Your presence and I’ve known what it’s like to hear from You



I’ve looked in wonder at the stars in the night sky

And I’ve seen the intricate detail of the firefly



I’ve stared in awe at the majesty of Your mountains standing tall

And I’ve gazed in wonder at the beautiful colors of the leaves every fall



I’ve seen the miracle of new life in a baby’s small face

And I’ve known the wonder of a comforting embrace



I’ve seen the resilience of children who’ve seen too much to young

And I’ve heard of amazing battles and victories that have been won



I’ve gazed upon your creation in wonder and awe

And wondered what it is in any of us that you ever saw



What is it that You choose to pursue us

And woo us?



and call us each by name

and love us all the same?



The great mystery is that You choose us

When we cry out in anger and put up a fuss



You would rather be with us than without

When we can’t get our lives together and we always seem to doubt



What is it that allows You to have such infinite patience for those You created

When we are pessimistic, and angry and sometimes jaded?



You alone are the author of this gift of life You give

You alone are the one that calls us forth to live



So what do I have to offer You, my great King

It seems like the answer is that I don’t have anything



But I stand before You and offer all I have

A heart that longs to know You and a willingness to stand



On Your promises and in Your love

And accept Your gift from above



What I have to offer seems so insignificant and small

But it’s the only gift I have to give you at all



I can’t give You much, but what I have to offer You is me

And a life that’s lived for You and for Your glory.



I don’t know why You want me but You do

So I lay all that I have at Your feet and worship You.



Love so amazing, so infinite and strong

A heart full of praise, I sing a new song



I am Yours and You are mine

I once was lost, I once was blind



But now I know what I should have known and understood long ago

What You were waiting for me to understand and finally know



It’s not about what I am lacking or even about what I have to give

You gave it all that I might live



That I might have life and have abundantly

That I might find joy and praise to sing



That I might choose to love You

That I might want to be made new



You wanted me to give myself willingly

You didn’t want to force Yourself on me



You pursued me because of Your great love for me

And You waited for me to see



That I can’t earn my way or be good enough

And I can’t buy my way or give You more stuff



You own the cattle on a thousand hills and everything else that we see

But You wanted me to choose to give You me.



Thank You for pursing me and wooing me

And opening my eyes to see



That You love me and want me

And You see me and allow me the grace to be



Shaped by the Master’s hand

It’s all part of Your amazing plan



So I give You me

And I pray my life tells Your story



I pray it leads others to You

And that You are the one that they would choose.



Everything I have to You I give

Including this life I have to live.



Praise and honor, to You all the glory

You know the ending of my story.



Written by: Kendra Bermosk

April 26, 2011

.

Behold the New

I have been on this journey the last year seeing how much God's love and grace can transform us into something new. A new creation. It's a long story, but God has showed up in so many amazing ways. This is my attempt to put into words that idea of newness.

Behold the New


Cutting, hurting, aching

Is it worth this new life you are making?



Pain intense, sorrow great

Stripping away bitterness and hate



Things that have long been dead

You alone create new life again



Flashes of light, rays of color

Breath of joy, laugh in wonder



Joy, peace, a life made new

This is what our God can do



Redeem the moments that were lost and given away

Let us live, it's a brand new day!



A day of wonder, grace and love

A gift that's given from above



Lord, You alone have created something new

All praise, All glory, all honor be given now and forever more to You.



Kendra Bermosk

7-11-11

Know Before Whom You Stand

So, on my recent mini Spiritual Retreat there was this amazing mirror hanging on the wall. It was written in Hebrew and at the bottom it said: KNOW BEFORE WHOM YOU STAND. It was such a powerful thing and I still can't get it out of my mind. It occurred to me that we can take that sentence in two ways. One, we stand before the very Creator of the universe. I do not need to fear or be afraid. I am loved by God. His power and presence are real in my life. I stand before Him. The other thing I realized is that I need to know myself as well. Who am I. In order to stand firm and strong I need to know me. For all the craziness of life and doubts that I have, I KNOW I am a child of the most High God and loved by Him. He holds me in His hands. I do not need to be afraid. What can be done to me that He does not see. Even in this life with it's trails and painful experiences, He never leaves me to walk alone. Though I have doubts sometimes about things, I know who I am, or better, I know WHOSE I am. This is my attempt to write something that reflects this.

Know Before Whom You Stand


One set of words, two meanings taken

Know before Whom you stand, and you won’t be shaken


Words written on a mirror

Staring back is my image reflected there


It occurs to me that this means two distinct things

And I am at once humbled and grateful for a chance to see


I stand before the very Creator of all things

Who set the world in motion, made the birds to sing


His very power is unfathomable and undeniable

His very words speak life to my heart and hope to my soul


Creation cries out in wonder and praise

Glory and honor and power are His, even until the very end of the age


Yet this God of power and might

Holds me in His hand, I am never out of His sight


He comforts me when I cannot go on

And He gives me strength to sing a new song


He lifts me up when I am weak

His love and His grace, they surround me


His love is deeper, and His grace reaches wider

His mercy is greater, and His ways are higher


I stand before the very God who created it all

And I am humbled by His goodness and at times I feel small


This power, this might, this love and this grace

Can never be outshined, can never be replaced.


That very same God is asking me

To let go of my fear, to trust Him and see


And then there is the other image staring back at me

It is a face that is so familiar but sometimes hard to see


It is that reflection I often doubt

It is that reflection where tears and sorrow are felt


It is that reflection that has been shattered and scarred

And it is that reflection that thinks life is hard


It is that reflection that isn’t sure what to do

And all too often it’s that reflection that stares back at you


But, that reflection also knows she is a child of her Creator

That He breathed life into her being and lovingly made her


It is that reflection that is surprisingly strong

Who knows what is right and knows what is wrong


It is that reflection that sees the world around her with eyes of love

And it is that reflection that is grateful for a God that willingly gave up His Son.


It is that reflection that stands firm when things get rough

And it is that reflection that knows who she is and knows her stuff


It is that reflection that is grounded in truth and strengthened by love

And it is that reflection that knows she’s been showered with blessings from above


It is that reflection that knows how to hope when all seems lost

And it is that reflection that knows that life is worth whatever the cost


Whatever heartache and struggles and even the pain

Because this world is not my home, I have so much more to gain


So I KNOW before Whom I stand

I stand before the God of the universe and He holds my hand.


I stand strong and tall and proud and free

Because I am loved by a Father that allows me to be me


I KNOW before Whom I stand and whose reflection I see,

I stand before God and I stand before me.


Kendra
July 25, 2011

My Voice

So, for awhile now I've been thinking about creating a page to put my poems and other random thoughts. Decided it was about time. I love to write. It's a big part of who I am. I write because it allows me to say what I really want to say and sometimes can't. I write because I love to. I love to create. I love the power that words have, and believe that with that power comes the responsibility to use our words to encourage and build others up. I try to do that. I think words on a page give people a voice that might not otherwise be heard.

I write for the joy of it. I write because I can't not write and when I can't write, it makes me sad. Sometimes I write based on what I myself and feeling and sometimes I try and put myself in others shoes and write what I think they might be feeling. Writing makes me feel more connected to people and to God. It allows me to be me. Maybe it's that writing allows people to just be who they are.

At the end of the day, I write because I can't not write. I write because there is something within me that wells up and spills forth. I write because it's a gift from God and one that I wish to share in hopes of drawing others to the God who Creates and has given me a gift in the form of being able to create something. too. It's my prayer that my words would bring glory to God and hope to others. Sometimes it makes sense...and sometimes it's just a beautiful mess. Thanks for letting me share my voice and speak :)